On days that Dad is feeling good he loves to talk to the nurses and staff that come into his room (with the exception of the physical therapists...sorry, he just doesn't like to get up and walk around when he's feeling so yucky!) I'm sure the hospital staff gets a kick out of the "jokes" that he tells to just about anyone who'll listen. He has named his blue "throw up bucket" Freddy and all of the nurses know that when they take Dad anywhere they need to make sure Freddy goes with them. I've overheard him telling at least two or three nurses the very same joke. When they ask him if there is anything else they can get for him, his reply is usually, "yes, go on down to the cafeteria and see if there is a new stomach that you can let me borrow for a little while." The nurses are usually pleasant and will smile or even give a gratuitous laugh, but lets be honest, it's really not very funny! Today we have so much to be thankful for, I feel like Dad was given a new "stomach".
Dad was taken into surgery early this morning after an anxious and sleepless night. The family texts started pouring in around 11:30am with the great news that the surgery went "perfectly" and that it went as well as it possibly could. Apparently, the surgeons removed about a foot of Dad's intestines that were damaged with scar tissue and knots from the radiation treatments. Wow! Dad came out of recovery and was alert and aware and looking "fantastic"! What a difference a day makes! Last night the mood in Dad's room was somber and quiet, we were all so worried and needed so much comfort. Today, Dad looks so great! He was talking as if he had been given a second chance at life and was so anxious to get on with his work. I was so touched and impressed at how he had made it through the night. He told me that he spent the night trying to mentally prepare himself for the day. I can just imagine in my mind the beautiful conversation he must have had with his Father in Heaven. Dad's testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ is so strong and I know he loves his Savior. I also know that my father is one of God's chosen servants with a great mission that he has been sent to earth to fulfill. He was fully prepared to go through this surgery today. Dad was so excited to tell me that he plans to get stronger so he can go to the Distribution Center and pick out a white suit so he can serve in the temple. I just held Dad's hand and was so grateful that he was so full of faith and determination. I couldn't stop smiling, I felt that my heart would burst from so much joy!
I know that Heavens were opened and that there were choice guardian angels sent to help guide the surgeon's hands and help my father get through this difficult surgery. I know that heart-felt, tender prayers were certainly answered today. Our family is so blessed, we have so much to be thankful for.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Brotherly Love
Today we found out that Dad has decided to have the surgery done to remove his bowel obstruction. Mom asked that we all gather together as a family and participate in a family prayer and be there for Dad to receive a Priesthood blessing. Dad will be going in for surgery early tomorrow morning so we all felt that we should be together tonight. It was really great to be together as a family in Dad's hospital room. There was a powerful feeling of love and support for Dad as he prepares himself for this very risky surgery. Mom had to stand in the back of the room because she found out today that she has Strep and is contagious until tomorrow when her antibiotics kick in--when it rains it pours!! We all gathered in a circle around Dad's bed and he just looked at us. He scanned the room back and forth and told us what a beautiful sight we were. I guess it would be pretty awesome to see all of your seven children and their spouses standing around your bed...what an incredible way to find joy and rejoicing in your posterity. I'm so grateful for my family and for being so close to each other that we can all be there through this difficult time.
Something pretty remarkable, even miraculous happened tonight as well. For months my sisters and I have been talking about how to find Uncle Richard and tell him about Dad's condition. Following my grandfather's death almost 20 years ago, my Dad and his brother and sister had a "falling out" and did not speak to each other again. About three years ago my Dad reconnected with my Aunt Elaine in a truly amazing act of forgiveness and love and she has been such a wonderful part of our family every since. Uncle Richard lives in Washington state and no one has been able to locate him. It's really quite sad to think that for 20 years my dad has not had anything to do with his big brother, he didn't even know where he lived or how to contact him. Tonight while we were waiting for family to arrive at the hospital my sister got on the phone and dialed information and began a search for Uncle Richard. She started with his ex-wife and then their son and finally got my uncle on the phone. She was out in the hall and came rushing in to Dad and said, "Uncle Richard is on the phone, do you want to talk to him?" Dad was in a lot of pain and not really talking to anyone, but he looked up and reached his hand out to take the phone. There was such excitement in his voice. We all sat silently and listened to him talk to his brother that he has not spoken to for so many years. It was such an incredible moment. Apparently, Uncle Richard had been looking for Dad too but didn't know where to find him either. They talked for just a few minutes, until Dad was too tired and weak to talk any further. I heard Dad say to his brother, "It's been so long, but I've never forgotten the love that is there". It was Dad's way of telling Richard that he loved him. Dad also told him how wonderful it was to hear his voice and how wonderful it would be to see him again. What a miracle that these two brothers finally had a chance to speak to each other again. It was such a tender mercy and I was so grateful to be there to witness it.
Dad was given a beautiful blessing and was promised that all will be well. I truly believe that all will indeed be well tomorrow. I know that the Lord loves my father and provided a way for him to reconnect with his brother so that he could know of Richard's love for him tonight. I hope that it will give my Dad comfort and strength. I know that we were placed here on this earth in families so that we could be happy and comfort one another during challenging and trying times.
Something pretty remarkable, even miraculous happened tonight as well. For months my sisters and I have been talking about how to find Uncle Richard and tell him about Dad's condition. Following my grandfather's death almost 20 years ago, my Dad and his brother and sister had a "falling out" and did not speak to each other again. About three years ago my Dad reconnected with my Aunt Elaine in a truly amazing act of forgiveness and love and she has been such a wonderful part of our family every since. Uncle Richard lives in Washington state and no one has been able to locate him. It's really quite sad to think that for 20 years my dad has not had anything to do with his big brother, he didn't even know where he lived or how to contact him. Tonight while we were waiting for family to arrive at the hospital my sister got on the phone and dialed information and began a search for Uncle Richard. She started with his ex-wife and then their son and finally got my uncle on the phone. She was out in the hall and came rushing in to Dad and said, "Uncle Richard is on the phone, do you want to talk to him?" Dad was in a lot of pain and not really talking to anyone, but he looked up and reached his hand out to take the phone. There was such excitement in his voice. We all sat silently and listened to him talk to his brother that he has not spoken to for so many years. It was such an incredible moment. Apparently, Uncle Richard had been looking for Dad too but didn't know where to find him either. They talked for just a few minutes, until Dad was too tired and weak to talk any further. I heard Dad say to his brother, "It's been so long, but I've never forgotten the love that is there". It was Dad's way of telling Richard that he loved him. Dad also told him how wonderful it was to hear his voice and how wonderful it would be to see him again. What a miracle that these two brothers finally had a chance to speak to each other again. It was such a tender mercy and I was so grateful to be there to witness it.
Dad was given a beautiful blessing and was promised that all will be well. I truly believe that all will indeed be well tomorrow. I know that the Lord loves my father and provided a way for him to reconnect with his brother so that he could know of Richard's love for him tonight. I hope that it will give my Dad comfort and strength. I know that we were placed here on this earth in families so that we could be happy and comfort one another during challenging and trying times.
Little Yellow Roses and Sensible Shoes
Yesterday morning I felt like I should go to the hospital and spend some time with Mom and Dad. It seems as though the longer Dad is in the hospital the more his resolve and positive attitude starts to wane a little bit. It always amazes me (although it shouldn't by now) how there are so many little blessings that come our way in the very moment we need them. I stopped by Mom and Dad's house on the way to the hospital to get some things for Mom and when I got to her doorstep there was the most beautiful little pot of yellow roses. It was something so simple, yet so needed! One of Mom's sweet neighbors had left this little gift at the door with a note that simply said she missed Mom's visits and sweet smile and was sorry to hear that Dad was not well. She said her heart went out to our family and I was so grateful for this little sign of love and friendship for Mom. I brought the roses to the hospital and set them by Dad's bed...they were so pretty and I hoped that they would brighten the room and make it seem a little less sterile!
One of the only things Mom requested that I bring her from home was her good tennis shoes and some socks. When she asked for the shoes I knew just exactly what she was asking for. It is always easier to brace yourself for the challenges of the day if you are wearing sensible shoes!! I'm not sure why, but tall, thin, strapy shoes just don't cut it when you feel like you are about to run an emotional marathon. You just need good support and sensible shoes to prepare you to meet the day!
Friday was definitely an emotional marathon day! Dad has been placed in isolation at the hospital because of the VRE bacteria that he contracted and because he is so immune-compromised. He has this really foreboding sign on his door with boxes full of hospital gloves, masks, and full-body disposable shields for visitors. The warning sign suggests that Dad has "contact precautions" and that visitors should limit contact with him and wear gloves and not touch any of the surfaces in Dad's room. His room has covers on all of the chairs (which I'm pretty sure Mom covered--she covers all of her furniture at home too, don't ask me why) and it is a little bit intimidating to go in. I wasn't expecting to have to be completely covered to go see Dad and I certainly wasn't expecting not being able to sit by his side and hold his hand. Dad was on some pretty heavy medications yesterday and was kind of loopy so I just sat on the couch and watched him sleep. Mom was downstairs in the lobby with my baby and so I had a chance to be with Dad alone. It looked as if he was resting peacefully and I was so grateful just to be in the same room with him. He drifted in and out sleep and at one point said that he was sorry that he wasn't much company, but to me it didn't matter that we didn't really exchange words at all. I just wanted to be there. I just wanted to look at him and watch him rest, there was something really peaceful and beautiful about Dad sleeping. It gave me an opportunity to think about all of the things that I love about my Daddy and all of the wonderful experiences we've shared together and all that he has taught me. There really is no way to quantify a daughter's love for her Dad, but I know that he knows that I love him and that brings me comfort somehow.
One of the only things Mom requested that I bring her from home was her good tennis shoes and some socks. When she asked for the shoes I knew just exactly what she was asking for. It is always easier to brace yourself for the challenges of the day if you are wearing sensible shoes!! I'm not sure why, but tall, thin, strapy shoes just don't cut it when you feel like you are about to run an emotional marathon. You just need good support and sensible shoes to prepare you to meet the day!
Friday was definitely an emotional marathon day! Dad has been placed in isolation at the hospital because of the VRE bacteria that he contracted and because he is so immune-compromised. He has this really foreboding sign on his door with boxes full of hospital gloves, masks, and full-body disposable shields for visitors. The warning sign suggests that Dad has "contact precautions" and that visitors should limit contact with him and wear gloves and not touch any of the surfaces in Dad's room. His room has covers on all of the chairs (which I'm pretty sure Mom covered--she covers all of her furniture at home too, don't ask me why) and it is a little bit intimidating to go in. I wasn't expecting to have to be completely covered to go see Dad and I certainly wasn't expecting not being able to sit by his side and hold his hand. Dad was on some pretty heavy medications yesterday and was kind of loopy so I just sat on the couch and watched him sleep. Mom was downstairs in the lobby with my baby and so I had a chance to be with Dad alone. It looked as if he was resting peacefully and I was so grateful just to be in the same room with him. He drifted in and out sleep and at one point said that he was sorry that he wasn't much company, but to me it didn't matter that we didn't really exchange words at all. I just wanted to be there. I just wanted to look at him and watch him rest, there was something really peaceful and beautiful about Dad sleeping. It gave me an opportunity to think about all of the things that I love about my Daddy and all of the wonderful experiences we've shared together and all that he has taught me. There really is no way to quantify a daughter's love for her Dad, but I know that he knows that I love him and that brings me comfort somehow.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Gifts of the Spirit
I have felt somewhat overwhelmed at the daunting task of updating the blog on Dad's condition since my previous post. Volumes and volumes could be written about the events that have transpired over the last 5 days. To say that we all have hit a point of emotional exhaustion would be an understatement. I told my husband yesterday that if there ever were a day for peanut butter M&M's, that would have been it! Yet, today, we were hit with more "news" (and consequently, more M&M's!).
Last Friday, the day of the scheduled biopsy, we got a phone call early in the morning. I really should have known better, it is never a good thing when the phone rings first thing in the morning. Mom called and asked that we cancel the biopsy, Dad had a bad night and she was taking him to the emergency room at the American Fork Hospital. They chose AF because Mom felt that the extreme pain that Dad was experiencing was not cancer related and she wanted to be under the care of her Internist, Dr. Von Welch. Suffice it to say that Friday was a difficult day. A small bowel obstruction was discovered and it was determined that Dad would need further "observation" to determine the course of treatment. The hope was that the obstruction would heal itself and that no further course of action would be needed. One of the most beautiful tender mercies occurred on Friday, however. Mom said that for the first time in days--maybe even weeks--Dad was resting peacefully and wasn't in a lot of pain.
Over the next couple of days, the staff at the hospital took wonderful care of Dad. They were aware of and completely on top of his pain medications and anticipated his next wave of pain before it happened. On Sunday night James and I went to visit Dad and he was looking so great! His pain was being managed and he was able to eat a popsicle earlier that day. He was even excited to watch the Lakers v. Celtics game on TV. (Thankfully the Celtics won, which I'm sure boosted Dad's spirits!) Dad was scheduled to be released on Monday morning so that he could still make it to his surgery with Dr. Bishoff to have his stint replaced, but plans had to change once again. Dad had spent the better part of Sunday night vomiting and it was determined that his obstruction (although small) was still there and his condition was not improving. Apparently, he also contracted VRE--a hospital borne, antibiotic resistant "superbug" sometime during his stay as well. It was decided that Dad would be transferred from the American Fork Hospital to the IMC Hospital where Dad's team of Urologists, Oncologists, Surgeons, etc. etc. could care for him.
Dad was admitted to the IMC Hospital on the 8th floor in room 815. Ironically enough, the last time he was at IMC (exactly 3 weeks ago--to the day!) he was on the 9th floor in room 915 and the view from his window is the very same. It feels very deja vu! After waiting hours for the doctor to come in and assess Dad's needs so orders could be written for pain medications (again, very deja vu), Dad had to tell his story--once again--to another doctor. The doctor came into Dad's room and said, "So, can you tell me a little bit about what's been going on?" I almost laughed out loud at how ridiculous the question sounded!! Dad simply closed his eyes, he was in much too much pain to even answer and told Mom to field the questions for him.
At that moment, I witnessed something pretty amazing. I believe what I witnessed was a Gift of the Spirit. Mom was absolutely incredible. She was so poised and competent, she knew the answer to every question asked. She was eloquent and capable and explained every pertinent detail of Dad's medical history in a concise and almost poetic way. She knew the name of every prescription Dad had ever been given and when he had taken them last and how many milligrams and how often he was taking them. She even knew what side effect each medication had on Dad. She was determined. She told the doctor that the reason they were there was so that Dad's pain could be diagnosed and that they weren't leaving until they had answers. She was bold and said that the family was through with sitting by and "observing" Dad in the amount of pain he was experiencing. I sat back in awe. I have always been in awe of Mom and her ability to handle each and every situation thrown her way, but last night was just amazing. I know that as a wife and a loving companion she is being filled with the spirit and given the inspiration, strength, knowledge and power to help direct Dad's complete care. I believe it is a gift of the Divinity of Womanhood, to nurture and love and discern the things that need to be done. Words cannot adequately describe how truly wonderful and gifted she is.
I know that Mom's love and determination has played a part in the latest development. When I called Mom on the phone tonight she said, "Dad has something that he needs to tell you". I just went silent, I was so scared. Dad was too weak and in a lot of pain, so Mom got back on the phone and told me that they were considering surgery. A team of three surgeons came in today and met with Dad. They explained to him that his condition has remained in the status quo. His obstruction is still present and his condition is not improving. They explained that the next probable course of treatment may include surgery to remove the obstruction. Surgery is such a scary thought because of how complicated and fragile Dad's condition is but it may be the only way to help his pain right now.
Dad was able to talk on the phone again and it was then that I heard in his voice another tender mercy and Gift of the Spirit. Dad told me that when the surgeons left his room, he prayed mightily to his loving Heavenly Father. He told me that he feels that there is still a work for him to do on this earth and that he prayed that he would be able to do it. He told me that he felt at peace at the prospect of having surgery and that he believes it may be the answer to taking away his pain so that he can finish that which he was called here to do. I believe that Dad has been given an amazing gift of faith and of the power to be healed. His ability to endure and overcome any and all obstacles with a glad heart and a perfect brightness of hope is truly remarkable. He has been through so much, yet his faith is so strong. I am so grateful to be his daughter. I will always be grateful for how much he loves my mother and for his example of unwavering faith and endurance.
Last Friday, the day of the scheduled biopsy, we got a phone call early in the morning. I really should have known better, it is never a good thing when the phone rings first thing in the morning. Mom called and asked that we cancel the biopsy, Dad had a bad night and she was taking him to the emergency room at the American Fork Hospital. They chose AF because Mom felt that the extreme pain that Dad was experiencing was not cancer related and she wanted to be under the care of her Internist, Dr. Von Welch. Suffice it to say that Friday was a difficult day. A small bowel obstruction was discovered and it was determined that Dad would need further "observation" to determine the course of treatment. The hope was that the obstruction would heal itself and that no further course of action would be needed. One of the most beautiful tender mercies occurred on Friday, however. Mom said that for the first time in days--maybe even weeks--Dad was resting peacefully and wasn't in a lot of pain.
Over the next couple of days, the staff at the hospital took wonderful care of Dad. They were aware of and completely on top of his pain medications and anticipated his next wave of pain before it happened. On Sunday night James and I went to visit Dad and he was looking so great! His pain was being managed and he was able to eat a popsicle earlier that day. He was even excited to watch the Lakers v. Celtics game on TV. (Thankfully the Celtics won, which I'm sure boosted Dad's spirits!) Dad was scheduled to be released on Monday morning so that he could still make it to his surgery with Dr. Bishoff to have his stint replaced, but plans had to change once again. Dad had spent the better part of Sunday night vomiting and it was determined that his obstruction (although small) was still there and his condition was not improving. Apparently, he also contracted VRE--a hospital borne, antibiotic resistant "superbug" sometime during his stay as well. It was decided that Dad would be transferred from the American Fork Hospital to the IMC Hospital where Dad's team of Urologists, Oncologists, Surgeons, etc. etc. could care for him.
Dad was admitted to the IMC Hospital on the 8th floor in room 815. Ironically enough, the last time he was at IMC (exactly 3 weeks ago--to the day!) he was on the 9th floor in room 915 and the view from his window is the very same. It feels very deja vu! After waiting hours for the doctor to come in and assess Dad's needs so orders could be written for pain medications (again, very deja vu), Dad had to tell his story--once again--to another doctor. The doctor came into Dad's room and said, "So, can you tell me a little bit about what's been going on?" I almost laughed out loud at how ridiculous the question sounded!! Dad simply closed his eyes, he was in much too much pain to even answer and told Mom to field the questions for him.
At that moment, I witnessed something pretty amazing. I believe what I witnessed was a Gift of the Spirit. Mom was absolutely incredible. She was so poised and competent, she knew the answer to every question asked. She was eloquent and capable and explained every pertinent detail of Dad's medical history in a concise and almost poetic way. She knew the name of every prescription Dad had ever been given and when he had taken them last and how many milligrams and how often he was taking them. She even knew what side effect each medication had on Dad. She was determined. She told the doctor that the reason they were there was so that Dad's pain could be diagnosed and that they weren't leaving until they had answers. She was bold and said that the family was through with sitting by and "observing" Dad in the amount of pain he was experiencing. I sat back in awe. I have always been in awe of Mom and her ability to handle each and every situation thrown her way, but last night was just amazing. I know that as a wife and a loving companion she is being filled with the spirit and given the inspiration, strength, knowledge and power to help direct Dad's complete care. I believe it is a gift of the Divinity of Womanhood, to nurture and love and discern the things that need to be done. Words cannot adequately describe how truly wonderful and gifted she is.
I know that Mom's love and determination has played a part in the latest development. When I called Mom on the phone tonight she said, "Dad has something that he needs to tell you". I just went silent, I was so scared. Dad was too weak and in a lot of pain, so Mom got back on the phone and told me that they were considering surgery. A team of three surgeons came in today and met with Dad. They explained to him that his condition has remained in the status quo. His obstruction is still present and his condition is not improving. They explained that the next probable course of treatment may include surgery to remove the obstruction. Surgery is such a scary thought because of how complicated and fragile Dad's condition is but it may be the only way to help his pain right now.
Dad was able to talk on the phone again and it was then that I heard in his voice another tender mercy and Gift of the Spirit. Dad told me that when the surgeons left his room, he prayed mightily to his loving Heavenly Father. He told me that he feels that there is still a work for him to do on this earth and that he prayed that he would be able to do it. He told me that he felt at peace at the prospect of having surgery and that he believes it may be the answer to taking away his pain so that he can finish that which he was called here to do. I believe that Dad has been given an amazing gift of faith and of the power to be healed. His ability to endure and overcome any and all obstacles with a glad heart and a perfect brightness of hope is truly remarkable. He has been through so much, yet his faith is so strong. I am so grateful to be his daughter. I will always be grateful for how much he loves my mother and for his example of unwavering faith and endurance.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
"The Power of the Gospel"
I am always amazed at the pure faith and love that radiates from children. My own little ones have been such a source of strength for me during this difficult time. They make me laugh, they give me hope, and they simply brighten my day! I don't know where my 5 year old boy learned this, but on the days that are particularly trying he'll come up to me and say, "Mom, I think you are so beautiful today." He then gives me a huge hug and tells me I make him special. (He's a sweetheart and a smooth talker already!!). My 2 year old little girl will throw her arms around me and say, "Don't cry Mommy, it's okay". With her in my arms I know that everything really is okay.
My little boy loves his grandpa so much and asks me every morning how grandpa is feeling today. His prayers have become more sincere and I know that he is praying and communicating directly with his Father in Heaven for his grandpa. He now prays that grandpa will get feeling better and that he will, "have the power of the gospel" or "have the power of the Holy Ghost". He also blesses grandma to, "have the power of strength". He struggles to articulate the way he is feeling, but I know that he is learning that there is power in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know his Heavenly Father is listening and hears the tender pleadings of a little boy who wants grandpa's cancer "to end" so he can get feeling better.
Dad is faced with a couple of difficult procedures in the next few days, so I have been asked by Mom to enlist your prayers and faith and the "power of the gospel" to help Dad get through it all. Tomorrow Dad will go in to have his tumor biopsied at the LDS Hospital. The process sounds somewhat painful as the doctors will have to insert a needle into Dad's back to remove a sample of the tumor. Dad's main Oncologist, Dr. Legant, has not ordered a biopsy previously because she does not believe that the results will change the way she has been treating the cancer and didn't want to subject Dad to another test. Mom feels, however, that the more information we have the more prepared we will be to fight whatever challenges come our way. Dad needs our prayers that miracles will happen and that he will be strong enough for the procedure to be a success.
On Monday, Dad is scheduled to have Dr. Bishoff place a metal stint connecting his kidney to the stoma to relieve his blockage. He will be under general anesthesia and the process is kind of tricky. The doctor feels that if he can fit a metal wire into the blockage he can then open it up with a balloon and place the stint. If not, Dad will have to continue on as he has been with an exterior drain from his left kidney down to a bag on his leg that needs to be flushed and changed and requires a lot of care. Mom is hoping that if the stint is successful it will take away some of Dad's abdominal pain and he'll be able find more lasting relief and resume somewhat of a normal life.
Miracles happen and I truly believe that the powers of Heaven have been and will continue to be with our family. Mom has asked that we participate in a family fast on Friday, and would like those who are available to attend the temple this weekend and place Dad's name on the prayer roll. Dad will receive a Priesthood Blessing tonight and I know that it will strengthen him and prepare him for these procedures.
I know that families are forever and that as we unite our faith, the power of the gospel will indeed get us through the next few, but difficult, days.
My little boy loves his grandpa so much and asks me every morning how grandpa is feeling today. His prayers have become more sincere and I know that he is praying and communicating directly with his Father in Heaven for his grandpa. He now prays that grandpa will get feeling better and that he will, "have the power of the gospel" or "have the power of the Holy Ghost". He also blesses grandma to, "have the power of strength". He struggles to articulate the way he is feeling, but I know that he is learning that there is power in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know his Heavenly Father is listening and hears the tender pleadings of a little boy who wants grandpa's cancer "to end" so he can get feeling better.
Dad is faced with a couple of difficult procedures in the next few days, so I have been asked by Mom to enlist your prayers and faith and the "power of the gospel" to help Dad get through it all. Tomorrow Dad will go in to have his tumor biopsied at the LDS Hospital. The process sounds somewhat painful as the doctors will have to insert a needle into Dad's back to remove a sample of the tumor. Dad's main Oncologist, Dr. Legant, has not ordered a biopsy previously because she does not believe that the results will change the way she has been treating the cancer and didn't want to subject Dad to another test. Mom feels, however, that the more information we have the more prepared we will be to fight whatever challenges come our way. Dad needs our prayers that miracles will happen and that he will be strong enough for the procedure to be a success.
On Monday, Dad is scheduled to have Dr. Bishoff place a metal stint connecting his kidney to the stoma to relieve his blockage. He will be under general anesthesia and the process is kind of tricky. The doctor feels that if he can fit a metal wire into the blockage he can then open it up with a balloon and place the stint. If not, Dad will have to continue on as he has been with an exterior drain from his left kidney down to a bag on his leg that needs to be flushed and changed and requires a lot of care. Mom is hoping that if the stint is successful it will take away some of Dad's abdominal pain and he'll be able find more lasting relief and resume somewhat of a normal life.
Miracles happen and I truly believe that the powers of Heaven have been and will continue to be with our family. Mom has asked that we participate in a family fast on Friday, and would like those who are available to attend the temple this weekend and place Dad's name on the prayer roll. Dad will receive a Priesthood Blessing tonight and I know that it will strengthen him and prepare him for these procedures.
I know that families are forever and that as we unite our faith, the power of the gospel will indeed get us through the next few, but difficult, days.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
"How is your Dad doing?" . . .
I never really know just how to answer the question of how Dad's doing. It seems like it's all I can do to choke back the tears and simply answer, "Oh, he's okay." I even asked him today what I should say to people that ask about him and he just quietly shook his head. He was in much too much pain to answer my question. It feels like my heart is breaking into a million pieces every time I say, "Oh, he's okay" or "We're hangin' in there". Last Monday we went to a Memorial Day BBQ at my Brother-in-law's house and I was overwhelmed with how inadequate I felt at letting my in-laws know how Dad is doing. I discovered that I much prefer to hug rather than answer any questions. One of my sweet sister-in-law's could tell I didn't know what to say, so she just hugged me and somehow it just made it all better.
Today I found out that Mom has a pretty difficult time answering the question as well. I had stayed with Dad for the afternoon while Mom went to get more medical supplies and by the time she came home, Dad was not doing well. I had convinced him to take his pain medications, but I have to admit, Mom is a much better nurse than I am. I ended up calling her and asking her what to do because it had only been two hours since Dad had taken his meds and he was needing more relief from the pain. She came right home and knew exactly what to do. As a matter of fact, I found myself thinking that the title of my next post should be, "Unsung Heroes" because she was truly amazing and definitely heroic in how she took care of Dad so quickly. She got right to work getting him into bed, uncovering a spot where she could place two fentanyl patches (marking the patches with a magic marker so she knows where to find them--I'm not quite sure why they're clear, they're really tricky to find!), charting the medications she had given Dad earlier in the day, draining the tubes from his kidney, changing his stoma (which looked a little bit infected), and then holding a bucket for him while he vomited--violently! All of this seemed to take place in just a matter of minutes. She then told him she was making him fish sticks and tater tots for dinner and he seemed really excited about it--he hadn't eaten anything all day. Dad then laid quietly in bed. He looked really pale, but he was calm for the moment and we began to clean up.
Mom and I walked outside to take out the trash and just at that moment a neighbor walked by with her fluffy little puppy. She came up to us and asked Mom, "So, how are you guys doing?" Mom had just been through this terribly hectic and stressful ordeal and the only thing she could think of to say was, "Oh, we're hangin' in there". I'm just not sure there really are any other answers. I wonder what would have happened if Mom's neighbor had just come up and given her a big hug... I'm pretty sure Mom would have broken down into tears, but I think maybe--just for a moment--everything would have been all better!
Today I found out that Mom has a pretty difficult time answering the question as well. I had stayed with Dad for the afternoon while Mom went to get more medical supplies and by the time she came home, Dad was not doing well. I had convinced him to take his pain medications, but I have to admit, Mom is a much better nurse than I am. I ended up calling her and asking her what to do because it had only been two hours since Dad had taken his meds and he was needing more relief from the pain. She came right home and knew exactly what to do. As a matter of fact, I found myself thinking that the title of my next post should be, "Unsung Heroes" because she was truly amazing and definitely heroic in how she took care of Dad so quickly. She got right to work getting him into bed, uncovering a spot where she could place two fentanyl patches (marking the patches with a magic marker so she knows where to find them--I'm not quite sure why they're clear, they're really tricky to find!), charting the medications she had given Dad earlier in the day, draining the tubes from his kidney, changing his stoma (which looked a little bit infected), and then holding a bucket for him while he vomited--violently! All of this seemed to take place in just a matter of minutes. She then told him she was making him fish sticks and tater tots for dinner and he seemed really excited about it--he hadn't eaten anything all day. Dad then laid quietly in bed. He looked really pale, but he was calm for the moment and we began to clean up.
Mom and I walked outside to take out the trash and just at that moment a neighbor walked by with her fluffy little puppy. She came up to us and asked Mom, "So, how are you guys doing?" Mom had just been through this terribly hectic and stressful ordeal and the only thing she could think of to say was, "Oh, we're hangin' in there". I'm just not sure there really are any other answers. I wonder what would have happened if Mom's neighbor had just come up and given her a big hug... I'm pretty sure Mom would have broken down into tears, but I think maybe--just for a moment--everything would have been all better!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Things I am grateful for...
I truly have so many things to be grateful for, but I thought I would just share one tonight. James, the kids, and I stopped by Mom and Dad's on our way home from the Bountiful Cemetery where we spent the better part of the evening with the family visiting Lamont's graveside. Mom and Dad weren't able to make it to the Cemetery because Dad was having a bad day and for some reason I just felt like I needed to see him tonight. It was late, just after 9:00pm, but I couldn't help but feel compelled to go in.
Mom and Dad were downstairs watching the movie "Rhapsody". It is one of my Dad's very favorite movies and he has probably seen it over a hundred times. In all my years I had never sat down to watch this movie with him. It is an older movie starring Elizabeth Taylor and it has the most beautiful music in it. The story centers around two musicians, a concert violinist and a concert pianist. Elizabeth Taylor chases after the self-centered violinist who is not interested in her and rejects the pianist who is completely devoted to her. Silly girl... Anyway, as I sat and watched this movie with my Dad, who was in so much pain, I was so grateful to share this moment with him. How many times had a let that moment pass before now?? I was so grateful to listen to the beautiful and transcendent music that my father loves so much. It is the music that fills his mind and brings him peace. It was so late, past 11:00pm, and my sweet baby was crying and wanting to go to bed, but I couldn't help but want the movie to last forever. I didn't want it to end or the moment to ever pass.
As I lingered just a little bit longer after the movie was over, Dad told me about the first time he saw "Rhapsody". He told me that in 1954 he was stationed at the Yokota Air Base, twenty miles north of Tokyo, Japan while he was in the Air Force. He told me that he saw the movie over 5 times in the theater when it came out that year. He paid just $.25 to see it. Even then, over 50 years ago, he was captured by the inspired music and simply loved it. Wow! I didn't know that about my Dad. How exciting to share with him a little piece of himself and of his history.
For this beautiful movie and this beautiful night, I am sincerely grateful.
Mom and Dad were downstairs watching the movie "Rhapsody". It is one of my Dad's very favorite movies and he has probably seen it over a hundred times. In all my years I had never sat down to watch this movie with him. It is an older movie starring Elizabeth Taylor and it has the most beautiful music in it. The story centers around two musicians, a concert violinist and a concert pianist. Elizabeth Taylor chases after the self-centered violinist who is not interested in her and rejects the pianist who is completely devoted to her. Silly girl... Anyway, as I sat and watched this movie with my Dad, who was in so much pain, I was so grateful to share this moment with him. How many times had a let that moment pass before now?? I was so grateful to listen to the beautiful and transcendent music that my father loves so much. It is the music that fills his mind and brings him peace. It was so late, past 11:00pm, and my sweet baby was crying and wanting to go to bed, but I couldn't help but want the movie to last forever. I didn't want it to end or the moment to ever pass.
As I lingered just a little bit longer after the movie was over, Dad told me about the first time he saw "Rhapsody". He told me that in 1954 he was stationed at the Yokota Air Base, twenty miles north of Tokyo, Japan while he was in the Air Force. He told me that he saw the movie over 5 times in the theater when it came out that year. He paid just $.25 to see it. Even then, over 50 years ago, he was captured by the inspired music and simply loved it. Wow! I didn't know that about my Dad. How exciting to share with him a little piece of himself and of his history.
For this beautiful movie and this beautiful night, I am sincerely grateful.
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