Little Yellow Roses and Sensible Shoes

Yesterday morning I felt like I should go to the hospital and spend some time with Mom and Dad. It seems as though the longer Dad is in the hospital the more his resolve and positive attitude starts to wane a little bit. It always amazes me (although it shouldn't by now) how there are so many little blessings that come our way in the very moment we need them. I stopped by Mom and Dad's house on the way to the hospital to get some things for Mom and when I got to her doorstep there was the most beautiful little pot of yellow roses. It was something so simple, yet so needed! One of Mom's sweet neighbors had left this little gift at the door with a note that simply said she missed Mom's visits and sweet smile and was sorry to hear that Dad was not well. She said her heart went out to our family and I was so grateful for this little sign of love and friendship for Mom. I brought the roses to the hospital and set them by Dad's bed...they were so pretty and I hoped that they would brighten the room and make it seem a little less sterile!

One of the only things Mom requested that I bring her from home was her good tennis shoes and some socks. When she asked for the shoes I knew just exactly what she was asking for. It is always easier to brace yourself for the challenges of the day if you are wearing sensible shoes!! I'm not sure why, but tall, thin, strapy shoes just don't cut it when you feel like you are about to run an emotional marathon. You just need good support and sensible shoes to prepare you to meet the day!

Friday was definitely an emotional marathon day! Dad has been placed in isolation at the hospital because of the VRE bacteria that he contracted and because he is so immune-compromised. He has this really foreboding sign on his door with boxes full of hospital gloves, masks, and full-body disposable shields for visitors. The warning sign suggests that Dad has "contact precautions" and that visitors should limit contact with him and wear gloves and not touch any of the surfaces in Dad's room. His room has covers on all of the chairs (which I'm pretty sure Mom covered--she covers all of her furniture at home too, don't ask me why) and it is a little bit intimidating to go in. I wasn't expecting to have to be completely covered to go see Dad and I certainly wasn't expecting not being able to sit by his side and hold his hand. Dad was on some pretty heavy medications yesterday and was kind of loopy so I just sat on the couch and watched him sleep. Mom was downstairs in the lobby with my baby and so I had a chance to be with Dad alone. It looked as if he was resting peacefully and I was so grateful just to be in the same room with him. He drifted in and out sleep and at one point said that he was sorry that he wasn't much company, but to me it didn't matter that we didn't really exchange words at all. I just wanted to be there. I just wanted to look at him and watch him rest, there was something really peaceful and beautiful about Dad sleeping. It gave me an opportunity to think about all of the things that I love about my Daddy and all of the wonderful experiences we've shared together and all that he has taught me. There really is no way to quantify a daughter's love for her Dad, but I know that he knows that I love him and that brings me comfort somehow.