The Problem with Pain...

One of the challenges I'm finding out about with "blogging" is how to write about days that are particularly difficult. How do I write about the days when Dad's condition worsens or when he doesn't seem to show any improvement? What do I say when it seems like day after day Dad struggles with the same problem of how to find relief from his pain? There are days when I have come home from the hospital to sit down and write about the day and simply cannot find the words to describe how hard it is to see Dad suffer so much for such a long period of time. I can't begin to describe the fear and the heartache from watching someone you love so much have to endure insurmountable pain each and every day. And on top of that, how do I write about my beautiful Mother sitting by the bedside of her dear companion trying to help him and comfort him and be his strength and find hope and peace in such a trying time? I keep hoping that if I wait a little while, I'll have good things to write about and the difficult things will only be a couple of sentences in my post...but that, for the time being, doesn't seem to be the case.

This past week has certainly been a challenging one! Dad was released from the IMC hospital on Tuesday (the 22nd) and was taken to Sandy Regional Care Center, a skilled nursing facility. He wasn't quite strong enough to go home yet and needed more care, so the rehab center was the next step. Sandy Regional is a nice facility and the nursing staff there are wonderful. They were so concerned with Dad and how to manage his pain and help him get back on his feet. He was still being fed by a feeding tube and he was in isolation from the VRE and he also contracted C-diff (an intestinal "bug") from all of the antibiotics he was taking, so the nursing staff had their hands full with him! I have to admit that it was really hard to see Dad in a "nursing home". Although it really was a nice facility, it wasn't easy visiting him in such a stereotypically depressing setting. Dad's pain worsened each day he was at Sandy Regional and he just didn't seem to be thriving there. On Friday (the 25th) Mom made the decision to take him back to the Emergency Room at IMC.

The Emergency Room nurse was simply adorable! When I got to the ER, Mom was wrapped in a warm blanket that the nurse had given her and Dad was awake and alert and trying to be funny! The nurse had found the magic dose of pain medication and Dad looked comfortable for the first time in weeks! Dad needed another CT scan to check and see if everything was okay with his surgical site (the long staple-filled zipper running down his stomach...yikes!) and was supposed to drink an unconscionable amount of contrast for the scan. Mercifully, the nurse was able to use his feeding tube and push the contrast through using a syringe instead. Dad was in the ER for about 6 or 7 hours waiting for the results of his scan. Fortunately, he slept most of the time. Waiting in the ER was almost comical. The nurse needed a urine sample from Dad so Mom, Danielle, and I changed his Urostomy bag. We were all standing around Mom holding towels and scissors and supplies and she was handling the "procedure" like we were in an operating room. The nurse was so impressed by Mom's "mad skills" at changing Dad's stoma! I know I've said this before, but Mom is so incredibly amazing! Mom also thought that while we were there we should try and take out Dad's contacts that had been in his eyes for over a week. It was hilarious! Danielle tried to pull open his eyelids while I tried to grab the contact (all while wearing gloves) and Dad kept wincing with pain because we were scratching his eyes. We finally gave up on the "contact extraction" and decided that Dad should take them out when he was more coherent. We were all trying to be so careful because of all of Dad's infections, we probably went through an entire box of gloves between the three of us. We finally just left Dad alone!

The results of the CT scan showed that Dad had developed an abscess at his surgical site and that it needed to be drained immediately. Apparently the abscess was the source of Dad's incredible pain. He was taken to Radiology and had a tube inserted into the middle of his stomach to drain the abscess. (Not that were keeping score, but Dad now has a feeding tube in his nose, oxygen tubes in his nose, a tube draining the abscess in his stomach, a nephroscopy tube draining his left kidney, a Uroscopy bag draining his stoma, an IV for antibiotics and an IV for pain medications...PHEW! That's a lot of tubes!!)

Dad was admitted to the IMC hospital and is in room 1120. So far, during just the last six weeks, Dad has stayed in rooms 815, 915, 1017 and now 1120! IMC is quickly becoming our new home away from home. The Doctors say that Dad will be in the hospital for another few days and that he will most likely be discharged to Sandy Regional again on Tuesday or Wednesday. They are quickly becoming very concerned that Dad may be too dependent on the Dilaudid (or as Dad's calls it...Bin Ladid) and other heavy narcotics for his pain relief. They are trying to slowly decrease the amount of medications they are giving him, but it seems as though Dad really needs the meds. His pain is just so intense. There is a really fine line between giving him enough to meet his pain management needs and giving him too much so he's dependent. It is really so frustrating to watch. Hopefully, after his stay at Sandy Regional he'll be well enough to come home next week. And hopefully, I'll have good things to write about in my next post!!