Over the past 5 or 6 years, one of the major highlights of our summer has been the annual Ericson BBQ and fireworks show over the Pioneer Day weekend. The city of Bountiful puts on an amazing fireworks show that as it just so happens, you can see perfectly from Debbie's front yard. I'm pretty sure she even cut down a beautiful tree in her front yard just so the fireworks would be more visible!! This fireworks show rivals any of the 4th of July fireworks in the state and it is just incredible. Our family looks forward to this fun BBQ and time to spend with extended family all summer. Aunts, Uncles, and cousins all come together and rearrange travel plans just to be together at the Ericson home on July 23rd each year.
Last night the BBQ and fireworks show were extra extra special because Dad was well enough to be there. As I thought more about the significance of Dad being there, I remembered that at last year's BBQ, Dad was really sick. At that time we had no idea how serious his condition was or that we were just beginning a long process of diagnosing and struggling through illness with Dad. All we knew was that Dad was sick and needed to go home early. As a matter of fact, I think we even took him to the Emergency Room at the VA Hospital that night. It's kind of difficult to think about all that he's been through over the past year. He's so strong and has such faith through adversity. He is such a great example of perseverance and determination.
Dad spent most of last night inside on a very comfortable chaise lounge in the front room. We each had a chance to sit with him and talk with him as we worked our way through the delicious food that had been prepared by the family. Dad was even able to take a few bites of the food too. Dad was determined to go outside and watch the fireworks with us all. Debbie had set out chairs in her front yard and everyone helped Dad out front as the fireworks started. About half-way through the fireworks I was able to find a seat near Dad and I just watched him as he looked up at the fireworks. His face reflected the beautiful lights of the fireworks as they burst out in blues, greens, reds, and purples. I sat in wonderment and I have to admit that I couldn't fight back the tears. I don't know if I was overcome with the beauty of the fireworks, or if it was the fact that I got to watch them with my Dad, or if it was not knowing if Dad would be able to be at the next Pioneer Day fireworks show, but I just couldn't contain myself and I just cried. I was grateful that it was dark and that no one could see me blubbering about how much I wanted that very moment to last forever. If I could only capture that moment in time and preserve it forever. If only time could stand still. It sounds so silly but I will forever cherish the memory of that simple fireworks show.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
There's Something About the Sunshine...
One of the things that I simply cherish during this difficult time in our lives is the ability to "drop by" and see Mom and Dad at random times throughout the day. Whenever the kids are going stir crazy or we've just pulled a batch of cookies out of the oven and want to share them with Mom and Dad or when we simply want to check in and see how Dad's doing we can just jump on our bikes or throw the kids in the mini van and go over for a visit just two miles down the road. Over the last couple of days we've been able to spend a lot of time with Mom and Dad sitting on the porch or going for walks in the sunshine and it has been so wonderful!
There is something about the sunshine that brings not only light and warmth, but health and energy as well. On Thursday Dad was feeling pretty good and we decided to take him for a walk down to the "airport". There is a great little Radio Controlled Airplane flying field and mini airport right by Mom and Dad's house that has always been a favorite spot of Dad's to walk to. Dad grew up building model airplanes and has always had a love of flying (real airplanes too!). We brought Dad's walker, that doubled as a wheelchair, and walked/wheeled him the 500 yards or so from the parking lot to the airport. When we got to the airport there were two older gentlemen flying their planes. They had about 7 or 8 planes between the two of them and they were so excited to talk to us about their planes and show us all about how they worked and the cool tricks they could do in the air. We brought a folding chair for Dad to sit in and put him right next to "pit area" so he could watch the guys tinker with their planes and get them ready for take off! It was a mini version of the Reno Air Show that Dad loves so much. One of the gentlemen was a R/C Airplane Trainer and was so gracious in letting the kids try out the remote control and talking to Dad about all of the intricate details of flying these little planes. We watched them fly for about 30 minutes or so and then Dad got tired and weak and we had to take him home.
I'm sure it was just an ordinary Thursday for the men flying their airplanes and I'm sure they didn't think twice about inviting us to join them as the flew their planes, but it was no ordinary day for us. I kept thinking about how grateful I was that Dad was strong enough and well enough to walk to the airport and have this amazing moment of joy as he watched these little planes fly loop de loops in the air. My heart was so full as I watched Dad's eyes light up with excitement as he asked questions and was so interested in these planes. One of the planes was a P52 and Dad said that it was his favorite ...something about being responsible for turning the tide in our favor during WWII. Dad simply loves airplanes and it made me so happy to be with him and watch this little air show with him. It was one of those moments of indescribable happiness as he watched the planes fly in the air and I couldn't help but feel so grateful that I could share in that moment with him.
There is something about the sunshine that brings not only light and warmth, but health and energy as well. On Thursday Dad was feeling pretty good and we decided to take him for a walk down to the "airport". There is a great little Radio Controlled Airplane flying field and mini airport right by Mom and Dad's house that has always been a favorite spot of Dad's to walk to. Dad grew up building model airplanes and has always had a love of flying (real airplanes too!). We brought Dad's walker, that doubled as a wheelchair, and walked/wheeled him the 500 yards or so from the parking lot to the airport. When we got to the airport there were two older gentlemen flying their planes. They had about 7 or 8 planes between the two of them and they were so excited to talk to us about their planes and show us all about how they worked and the cool tricks they could do in the air. We brought a folding chair for Dad to sit in and put him right next to "pit area" so he could watch the guys tinker with their planes and get them ready for take off! It was a mini version of the Reno Air Show that Dad loves so much. One of the gentlemen was a R/C Airplane Trainer and was so gracious in letting the kids try out the remote control and talking to Dad about all of the intricate details of flying these little planes. We watched them fly for about 30 minutes or so and then Dad got tired and weak and we had to take him home.
I'm sure it was just an ordinary Thursday for the men flying their airplanes and I'm sure they didn't think twice about inviting us to join them as the flew their planes, but it was no ordinary day for us. I kept thinking about how grateful I was that Dad was strong enough and well enough to walk to the airport and have this amazing moment of joy as he watched these little planes fly loop de loops in the air. My heart was so full as I watched Dad's eyes light up with excitement as he asked questions and was so interested in these planes. One of the planes was a P52 and Dad said that it was his favorite ...something about being responsible for turning the tide in our favor during WWII. Dad simply loves airplanes and it made me so happy to be with him and watch this little air show with him. It was one of those moments of indescribable happiness as he watched the planes fly in the air and I couldn't help but feel so grateful that I could share in that moment with him.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Calling the family together...
By now I have learned that when the phone rings and my brother Ron's number is on the caller ID, there isn't going to be good news. Ron, being the oldest in the family, has a certain leadership role among the siblings and is usually one of the first to talk to Mom when new developments occur with Dad's condition. Ron called last Thursday (July 15th) and said that Mom and Dad had gotten the results back from Dad's latest CT Scan and there was something that they wanted to discuss with the rest of the family. Ron asked that I help him call all of the family to meet at Mom and Dad's that night. Just a few short hours after I called all seven children and their spouses met at Mom and Dad's to receive the news. It was an awe inspiring sight to see all of my siblings together in love and support for Dad. There is such strength in uniting our faith together in behalf of our father, I was so grateful to be there with my family.
Mom had taken Dad to Dr. Von Welch's office earlier in the day to have him explain to Dad all about the images from the CT scan and help him understand the magnitude of his condition. Dad's CT scan showed three "shadows" on his liver that were determined to be cancerous lesions. Dr. Welch explained that the cancer in Dad's back had metastasized to his liver and that the lesions were growing rapidly. Because Dad has had so many complications in his abdomen over the past few months, there have been multiple CT Scans done and a comparison could be made in regards to the size of these lesions. In just the past few weeks the legions have tripled in size. The prognosis is not great and it was concluded that Dad's cancer is spreading and is terminal. Dr. Welch is a very compassionate and caring doctor and has been involved in Dad's care for many years. Dad said that Dr. Welch put his arm around him and offered to help in any way that he could. He even offered to meet with our whole family to answer any questions or provide clarifications on the diagnosis. What a blessing and tender mercy to have such a wonderful doctor and friend be there for Mom and Dad when they needed his expertise the most.
Mom and Dad both took turns talking to the family and showed us the x-ray image from the CT scan so we could see for ourselves. After we all passed around the x-ray and asked questions, something beautiful happened. Dad started to speak and began to talk to us about things not of a medical nature, but of a spiritual nature. It was so special and almost sacred that I don't how to put down into words the feelings that he shared with his children. He didn't want to talk about possible treatments like chemotherapy or more radiation and he didn't want to talk about how much time he had left with his family. He just wanted to talk about the temple. He looked at each one of us and said that the thing he wanted most was to be together with all of his children in the temple one last time. There was such power in the words he spoke. His testimony was so strong. He said that he could leave this life if only he knew that his family was all together in the temple. He kept saying it over and over again. He spoke with tears in his eyes and was sincerely pleading with his family to prepare themselves to be worthy to enter the temple. It was a truly amazing experience.
I am so thankful for my parents and for their truly unwavering faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ and the plan of happiness that allows each one of us to return to the arms of a loving Heavenly Father and be together forever as a family someday.
Mom had taken Dad to Dr. Von Welch's office earlier in the day to have him explain to Dad all about the images from the CT scan and help him understand the magnitude of his condition. Dad's CT scan showed three "shadows" on his liver that were determined to be cancerous lesions. Dr. Welch explained that the cancer in Dad's back had metastasized to his liver and that the lesions were growing rapidly. Because Dad has had so many complications in his abdomen over the past few months, there have been multiple CT Scans done and a comparison could be made in regards to the size of these lesions. In just the past few weeks the legions have tripled in size. The prognosis is not great and it was concluded that Dad's cancer is spreading and is terminal. Dr. Welch is a very compassionate and caring doctor and has been involved in Dad's care for many years. Dad said that Dr. Welch put his arm around him and offered to help in any way that he could. He even offered to meet with our whole family to answer any questions or provide clarifications on the diagnosis. What a blessing and tender mercy to have such a wonderful doctor and friend be there for Mom and Dad when they needed his expertise the most.
Mom and Dad both took turns talking to the family and showed us the x-ray image from the CT scan so we could see for ourselves. After we all passed around the x-ray and asked questions, something beautiful happened. Dad started to speak and began to talk to us about things not of a medical nature, but of a spiritual nature. It was so special and almost sacred that I don't how to put down into words the feelings that he shared with his children. He didn't want to talk about possible treatments like chemotherapy or more radiation and he didn't want to talk about how much time he had left with his family. He just wanted to talk about the temple. He looked at each one of us and said that the thing he wanted most was to be together with all of his children in the temple one last time. There was such power in the words he spoke. His testimony was so strong. He said that he could leave this life if only he knew that his family was all together in the temple. He kept saying it over and over again. He spoke with tears in his eyes and was sincerely pleading with his family to prepare themselves to be worthy to enter the temple. It was a truly amazing experience.
I am so thankful for my parents and for their truly unwavering faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ and the plan of happiness that allows each one of us to return to the arms of a loving Heavenly Father and be together forever as a family someday.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
There really is no place like home!!
It's been a long time since I've written anything on the blog and I have to admit that I've really missed it! I think it's been so long partly because I've been waiting to title my post "there's no place like home" and partly because the last couple of weeks have simply been exhausting and my brain has been too mushy to put together anything sensible for me to write! Regardless, I am simply delighted to write that Dad is finally home!!
The road to coming home hasn't been any easy one. As I sit here to write about all of the events of the last couple of weeks, it seems a little bit overwhelming. Dad was in the hospital for the first week, then back to Sandy Regional, then back to the Emergency Room at IMC, then back to Sandy Regional. It seemed like each morning was a new challenge to overcome followed by more setbacks. Dad struggled with keeping food down and managing his pain and simply fought to recover from his surgery and the complications that came with it. Not to mention physical therapy! I truly sympathize with the staff at Sandy Regional who tried to get Dad to do his therapy! Each time the door to Dad's room would open, Dad would tense up and just moan...not the physical therapist! He wasn't the easiest to convince that PT was actually good for him, but the therapists were relentless and didn't give up. He was in a lot of pain and nauseous and just wanted to rest and not be bothered. Mom even had to walk out of the room and "go for a drive" a couple of times because Dad was fighting with the therapist and it was a little too stressful for Mom. There were some good days mixed with quite a few challenging ones and it came to the point where we all just wanted Dad to come home.
The last trip to the Emergency Room (Tuesday, July 6th) seemed to be the breaking point for mom. Dad's feeding tube had become dislodged somehow and the liquid diet was pooling at the bottom of his stomach causing him to be nauseous and preventing him from eating on his own and keeping anything down. As we waited in the ER in the middle of the night, Mom and I talked about just forgetting it all and taking Dad home. I'm pretty sure we would have made a run for it and "escaped" from the hospital if it hadn't been for the ER doctor. He convinced Mom that Dad should stay the night in the ER, wait until morning to have his feeding tube replaced, and then we could talk to the social worker about taking Dad home. Mom knew she would have to plead her case and beg to take Dad home. The surgeon who performed Dad's surgery, Dr. Granger, didn't feel like Dad was ready to come home and no one was willing to sign the discharge papers and release him. The possibility of spending 2 or 3 or 4 more weeks in a skilled nursing facility (which was no longer covered by insurance--Humana only allowed 7 days of coverage and Mom was starting to pay a co-pay of $84 a night) was just not an option. Mom was determined to go back to Sandy Regional for just a few days and then do whatever it took to bring Dad home. Mom got right to work coordinating home health care. She had to have all of Dad's therapy, dressing changes, feeding tube needs, medications, wheel chairs, walkers, etc. etc. etc. taken care of before he could come home. The home health nurse would only be able to come over 2 or 3 times a week so that would mean that Mom would have to start Dad's feeding tube each night, flush it each morning, change his dressing from the surgery twice a day, flush his pic lines daily, give him shots, and make sure he was taking all of his medications. I'm sure she had her doubts about bringing Dad home so early, but it was definitely time and she knew that it was the best place for him to recover.
Dad came home last Saturday and all of the family was waiting there for him! There were posters and streamers and balloons...it was such a celebration to have Dad finally come home! Dad, however, was pretty sick that morning so the party lasted just long enough to have everyone give him a hug, welcome him home, eat a cookie and then pack up and leave. All family parties should be so lucky! :) Mom and Dad's house has been so quiet for so long without them there and it's been so hard to go over just to get a few supplies for Mom at the hospital and not see them at home. I can't even begin to write about the feelings of gratitude and joy to finally have them both in their own home surrounded by the family that loves them. Even though there are multiple challenges ahead, Dad is now home and that's all that matters! There really is no place like home!
The road to coming home hasn't been any easy one. As I sit here to write about all of the events of the last couple of weeks, it seems a little bit overwhelming. Dad was in the hospital for the first week, then back to Sandy Regional, then back to the Emergency Room at IMC, then back to Sandy Regional. It seemed like each morning was a new challenge to overcome followed by more setbacks. Dad struggled with keeping food down and managing his pain and simply fought to recover from his surgery and the complications that came with it. Not to mention physical therapy! I truly sympathize with the staff at Sandy Regional who tried to get Dad to do his therapy! Each time the door to Dad's room would open, Dad would tense up and just moan...not the physical therapist! He wasn't the easiest to convince that PT was actually good for him, but the therapists were relentless and didn't give up. He was in a lot of pain and nauseous and just wanted to rest and not be bothered. Mom even had to walk out of the room and "go for a drive" a couple of times because Dad was fighting with the therapist and it was a little too stressful for Mom. There were some good days mixed with quite a few challenging ones and it came to the point where we all just wanted Dad to come home.
The last trip to the Emergency Room (Tuesday, July 6th) seemed to be the breaking point for mom. Dad's feeding tube had become dislodged somehow and the liquid diet was pooling at the bottom of his stomach causing him to be nauseous and preventing him from eating on his own and keeping anything down. As we waited in the ER in the middle of the night, Mom and I talked about just forgetting it all and taking Dad home. I'm pretty sure we would have made a run for it and "escaped" from the hospital if it hadn't been for the ER doctor. He convinced Mom that Dad should stay the night in the ER, wait until morning to have his feeding tube replaced, and then we could talk to the social worker about taking Dad home. Mom knew she would have to plead her case and beg to take Dad home. The surgeon who performed Dad's surgery, Dr. Granger, didn't feel like Dad was ready to come home and no one was willing to sign the discharge papers and release him. The possibility of spending 2 or 3 or 4 more weeks in a skilled nursing facility (which was no longer covered by insurance--Humana only allowed 7 days of coverage and Mom was starting to pay a co-pay of $84 a night) was just not an option. Mom was determined to go back to Sandy Regional for just a few days and then do whatever it took to bring Dad home. Mom got right to work coordinating home health care. She had to have all of Dad's therapy, dressing changes, feeding tube needs, medications, wheel chairs, walkers, etc. etc. etc. taken care of before he could come home. The home health nurse would only be able to come over 2 or 3 times a week so that would mean that Mom would have to start Dad's feeding tube each night, flush it each morning, change his dressing from the surgery twice a day, flush his pic lines daily, give him shots, and make sure he was taking all of his medications. I'm sure she had her doubts about bringing Dad home so early, but it was definitely time and she knew that it was the best place for him to recover.
Dad came home last Saturday and all of the family was waiting there for him! There were posters and streamers and balloons...it was such a celebration to have Dad finally come home! Dad, however, was pretty sick that morning so the party lasted just long enough to have everyone give him a hug, welcome him home, eat a cookie and then pack up and leave. All family parties should be so lucky! :) Mom and Dad's house has been so quiet for so long without them there and it's been so hard to go over just to get a few supplies for Mom at the hospital and not see them at home. I can't even begin to write about the feelings of gratitude and joy to finally have them both in their own home surrounded by the family that loves them. Even though there are multiple challenges ahead, Dad is now home and that's all that matters! There really is no place like home!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The Problem with Pain...
One of the challenges I'm finding out about with "blogging" is how to write about days that are particularly difficult. How do I write about the days when Dad's condition worsens or when he doesn't seem to show any improvement? What do I say when it seems like day after day Dad struggles with the same problem of how to find relief from his pain? There are days when I have come home from the hospital to sit down and write about the day and simply cannot find the words to describe how hard it is to see Dad suffer so much for such a long period of time. I can't begin to describe the fear and the heartache from watching someone you love so much have to endure insurmountable pain each and every day. And on top of that, how do I write about my beautiful Mother sitting by the bedside of her dear companion trying to help him and comfort him and be his strength and find hope and peace in such a trying time? I keep hoping that if I wait a little while, I'll have good things to write about and the difficult things will only be a couple of sentences in my post...but that, for the time being, doesn't seem to be the case.
This past week has certainly been a challenging one! Dad was released from the IMC hospital on Tuesday (the 22nd) and was taken to Sandy Regional Care Center, a skilled nursing facility. He wasn't quite strong enough to go home yet and needed more care, so the rehab center was the next step. Sandy Regional is a nice facility and the nursing staff there are wonderful. They were so concerned with Dad and how to manage his pain and help him get back on his feet. He was still being fed by a feeding tube and he was in isolation from the VRE and he also contracted C-diff (an intestinal "bug") from all of the antibiotics he was taking, so the nursing staff had their hands full with him! I have to admit that it was really hard to see Dad in a "nursing home". Although it really was a nice facility, it wasn't easy visiting him in such a stereotypically depressing setting. Dad's pain worsened each day he was at Sandy Regional and he just didn't seem to be thriving there. On Friday (the 25th) Mom made the decision to take him back to the Emergency Room at IMC.
The Emergency Room nurse was simply adorable! When I got to the ER, Mom was wrapped in a warm blanket that the nurse had given her and Dad was awake and alert and trying to be funny! The nurse had found the magic dose of pain medication and Dad looked comfortable for the first time in weeks! Dad needed another CT scan to check and see if everything was okay with his surgical site (the long staple-filled zipper running down his stomach...yikes!) and was supposed to drink an unconscionable amount of contrast for the scan. Mercifully, the nurse was able to use his feeding tube and push the contrast through using a syringe instead. Dad was in the ER for about 6 or 7 hours waiting for the results of his scan. Fortunately, he slept most of the time. Waiting in the ER was almost comical. The nurse needed a urine sample from Dad so Mom, Danielle, and I changed his Urostomy bag. We were all standing around Mom holding towels and scissors and supplies and she was handling the "procedure" like we were in an operating room. The nurse was so impressed by Mom's "mad skills" at changing Dad's stoma! I know I've said this before, but Mom is so incredibly amazing! Mom also thought that while we were there we should try and take out Dad's contacts that had been in his eyes for over a week. It was hilarious! Danielle tried to pull open his eyelids while I tried to grab the contact (all while wearing gloves) and Dad kept wincing with pain because we were scratching his eyes. We finally gave up on the "contact extraction" and decided that Dad should take them out when he was more coherent. We were all trying to be so careful because of all of Dad's infections, we probably went through an entire box of gloves between the three of us. We finally just left Dad alone!
The results of the CT scan showed that Dad had developed an abscess at his surgical site and that it needed to be drained immediately. Apparently the abscess was the source of Dad's incredible pain. He was taken to Radiology and had a tube inserted into the middle of his stomach to drain the abscess. (Not that were keeping score, but Dad now has a feeding tube in his nose, oxygen tubes in his nose, a tube draining the abscess in his stomach, a nephroscopy tube draining his left kidney, a Uroscopy bag draining his stoma, an IV for antibiotics and an IV for pain medications...PHEW! That's a lot of tubes!!)
Dad was admitted to the IMC hospital and is in room 1120. So far, during just the last six weeks, Dad has stayed in rooms 815, 915, 1017 and now 1120! IMC is quickly becoming our new home away from home. The Doctors say that Dad will be in the hospital for another few days and that he will most likely be discharged to Sandy Regional again on Tuesday or Wednesday. They are quickly becoming very concerned that Dad may be too dependent on the Dilaudid (or as Dad's calls it...Bin Ladid) and other heavy narcotics for his pain relief. They are trying to slowly decrease the amount of medications they are giving him, but it seems as though Dad really needs the meds. His pain is just so intense. There is a really fine line between giving him enough to meet his pain management needs and giving him too much so he's dependent. It is really so frustrating to watch. Hopefully, after his stay at Sandy Regional he'll be well enough to come home next week. And hopefully, I'll have good things to write about in my next post!!
This past week has certainly been a challenging one! Dad was released from the IMC hospital on Tuesday (the 22nd) and was taken to Sandy Regional Care Center, a skilled nursing facility. He wasn't quite strong enough to go home yet and needed more care, so the rehab center was the next step. Sandy Regional is a nice facility and the nursing staff there are wonderful. They were so concerned with Dad and how to manage his pain and help him get back on his feet. He was still being fed by a feeding tube and he was in isolation from the VRE and he also contracted C-diff (an intestinal "bug") from all of the antibiotics he was taking, so the nursing staff had their hands full with him! I have to admit that it was really hard to see Dad in a "nursing home". Although it really was a nice facility, it wasn't easy visiting him in such a stereotypically depressing setting. Dad's pain worsened each day he was at Sandy Regional and he just didn't seem to be thriving there. On Friday (the 25th) Mom made the decision to take him back to the Emergency Room at IMC.
The Emergency Room nurse was simply adorable! When I got to the ER, Mom was wrapped in a warm blanket that the nurse had given her and Dad was awake and alert and trying to be funny! The nurse had found the magic dose of pain medication and Dad looked comfortable for the first time in weeks! Dad needed another CT scan to check and see if everything was okay with his surgical site (the long staple-filled zipper running down his stomach...yikes!) and was supposed to drink an unconscionable amount of contrast for the scan. Mercifully, the nurse was able to use his feeding tube and push the contrast through using a syringe instead. Dad was in the ER for about 6 or 7 hours waiting for the results of his scan. Fortunately, he slept most of the time. Waiting in the ER was almost comical. The nurse needed a urine sample from Dad so Mom, Danielle, and I changed his Urostomy bag. We were all standing around Mom holding towels and scissors and supplies and she was handling the "procedure" like we were in an operating room. The nurse was so impressed by Mom's "mad skills" at changing Dad's stoma! I know I've said this before, but Mom is so incredibly amazing! Mom also thought that while we were there we should try and take out Dad's contacts that had been in his eyes for over a week. It was hilarious! Danielle tried to pull open his eyelids while I tried to grab the contact (all while wearing gloves) and Dad kept wincing with pain because we were scratching his eyes. We finally gave up on the "contact extraction" and decided that Dad should take them out when he was more coherent. We were all trying to be so careful because of all of Dad's infections, we probably went through an entire box of gloves between the three of us. We finally just left Dad alone!
The results of the CT scan showed that Dad had developed an abscess at his surgical site and that it needed to be drained immediately. Apparently the abscess was the source of Dad's incredible pain. He was taken to Radiology and had a tube inserted into the middle of his stomach to drain the abscess. (Not that were keeping score, but Dad now has a feeding tube in his nose, oxygen tubes in his nose, a tube draining the abscess in his stomach, a nephroscopy tube draining his left kidney, a Uroscopy bag draining his stoma, an IV for antibiotics and an IV for pain medications...PHEW! That's a lot of tubes!!)
Dad was admitted to the IMC hospital and is in room 1120. So far, during just the last six weeks, Dad has stayed in rooms 815, 915, 1017 and now 1120! IMC is quickly becoming our new home away from home. The Doctors say that Dad will be in the hospital for another few days and that he will most likely be discharged to Sandy Regional again on Tuesday or Wednesday. They are quickly becoming very concerned that Dad may be too dependent on the Dilaudid (or as Dad's calls it...Bin Ladid) and other heavy narcotics for his pain relief. They are trying to slowly decrease the amount of medications they are giving him, but it seems as though Dad really needs the meds. His pain is just so intense. There is a really fine line between giving him enough to meet his pain management needs and giving him too much so he's dependent. It is really so frustrating to watch. Hopefully, after his stay at Sandy Regional he'll be well enough to come home next week. And hopefully, I'll have good things to write about in my next post!!
Monday, June 21, 2010
A Father's Day Tribute
Mom has an amazing gift of gathering her family together to celebrate special occasions--or any occasion for that matter! The gatherings usually include massive quantities of food, plastic tablecloths with centerpieces (that she most likely saved from the last family party) games, laughter, and you can even expect a program with songs, a talent show, and someone sharing a thought or a poem. I'm almost certain that most of my insecurities stem from being forced to dance or sing or speak at random family parties in front of distant relatives! :) Although I have tried many times to get out of my portion of the "program", I am usually very grateful for the opportunity that I have had to share my thoughts and my heart with my family.
On Fathers Day, Mom gathered her family together for a wonderful day with Dad at the hospital. Only Mom could turn a sterile hospital classroom into a fun and festive family party! It was such a miracle that Dad could join us, even if was for just a little while. It was so great to be together as a family on such a special day! Mom put together a program (I wouldn't have expected any less) and asked that the grandkids sing a couple of songs for grandpa, she had Debbie put together and present a special gift from each of the grandkids (that turned out to be a beautiful "flower" garden made with cut-out paper hands from all of the grandkids), and asked that I give a tribute to Dad. My heart was full and I was so grateful that I was given an opportunity to tell Dad how much he has taught me by living such a righteous life. I thought I would share my tribute on the blog...for posterity's sake. It's a bit long, so I apologize in advance, but here it is!
Faith of our Fathers
The opening hymn in our sacrament services today was “Faith of our Fathers”. As I listened to the words we sang I reflected upon the faith of my own father and the life that he has led and the many lessons of faith that he has taught me. I am so grateful for the opportunity to share with my father on this very special Father’s day, how his faith has influenced and impacted my life. His faith has made me the person I am today and I am so grateful to be his daughter and to have him in my life. I thought of three lessons of faith that he has shared with me over the years. The first is the faith to work hard, the second is faith to love unconditionally and wholeheartedly, and lastly faith in the truthfulness of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.
Dad has an amazing work ethic. Whether it is putting on his metal-cleated golf shoes in the middle of winter to shovel snow on our steep driveways, or getting on his hands and knees in the hot sun repairing sprinkler heads each and every springtime, or rebuilding the engine of our white Jetta, or replacing the sheetrock in his old office, painting, plumbing, tiling, anything… There wasn’t anything Dad couldn’t do or fix. Not only did he fix everything, he did it beautifully and perfectly. He rose before dawn each morning to leave for work and he came home after dark each evening. He had a work to do to provide for his family and he did it with his head held high and with full purpose of heart. He had faith that our family would be provided for if he worked hard and tirelessly and he gave all that he had. He worked hard because he loved his family so much.
There is a quote by President David O. Mckay that says, “‘The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” There is no greater love in Dad’s life than his beautiful wife. He loves Mom so completely, so purely, and so eternally. Their love transcends time and the trials that their mortal bodies will face in this lifetime. Dad longs to be by Mom’s side, even if it is a trip to the grocery store or a walk to the park. Dad will spend hours in a parked car in a parking lot just to go “shopping” with mom. His first thought is always of her happiness and he cherishes her as his bride and loving companion. They are never apart for very long and their love is such an example for each of us to strive for. Dad’s faith to love unconditionally has taught me so much about real and true love.
Dad has faith in and a testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I knew as a young girl that I could always go to my father and ask for guidance, comfort, and healing in a Priesthood blessing at any time. He lovingly and tenderly placed his hands on my head in giving me a father’s blessing and I know that there was power from on high in the words he spoke. He has always had a testimony of the gospel and lives his life in accordance with the teachings of Jesus Christ. Even when times were tough Dad had a testimony of paying his tithing and made it his first priority. His former Bishop, Ramon Beck, said that even when he didn’t see Mom and Dad in the pews on Sunday, he could expect a tithing check in the mail every month. Even now when Dad is so sick and in the hospital, he still wants me to pay his tithing because he knows of the blessings that come from it. He has a testimony of temple work and feels he has a work to do in serving in the temple and being together with his whole family in the house of the Lord. I truly believe that the day we're all together in the temple will be his greatest joy.
I am so grateful for the faith of my father. I know he loves his Savior, Jesus Christ and I am so grateful for all the lessons of faith that he has taught me. I am grateful for this opportunity to tell Dad how much I love him and how much his faith has meant to me in my life. I love you Dad!!
On Fathers Day, Mom gathered her family together for a wonderful day with Dad at the hospital. Only Mom could turn a sterile hospital classroom into a fun and festive family party! It was such a miracle that Dad could join us, even if was for just a little while. It was so great to be together as a family on such a special day! Mom put together a program (I wouldn't have expected any less) and asked that the grandkids sing a couple of songs for grandpa, she had Debbie put together and present a special gift from each of the grandkids (that turned out to be a beautiful "flower" garden made with cut-out paper hands from all of the grandkids), and asked that I give a tribute to Dad. My heart was full and I was so grateful that I was given an opportunity to tell Dad how much he has taught me by living such a righteous life. I thought I would share my tribute on the blog...for posterity's sake. It's a bit long, so I apologize in advance, but here it is!
Faith of our Fathers
The opening hymn in our sacrament services today was “Faith of our Fathers”. As I listened to the words we sang I reflected upon the faith of my own father and the life that he has led and the many lessons of faith that he has taught me. I am so grateful for the opportunity to share with my father on this very special Father’s day, how his faith has influenced and impacted my life. His faith has made me the person I am today and I am so grateful to be his daughter and to have him in my life. I thought of three lessons of faith that he has shared with me over the years. The first is the faith to work hard, the second is faith to love unconditionally and wholeheartedly, and lastly faith in the truthfulness of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.
Dad has an amazing work ethic. Whether it is putting on his metal-cleated golf shoes in the middle of winter to shovel snow on our steep driveways, or getting on his hands and knees in the hot sun repairing sprinkler heads each and every springtime, or rebuilding the engine of our white Jetta, or replacing the sheetrock in his old office, painting, plumbing, tiling, anything… There wasn’t anything Dad couldn’t do or fix. Not only did he fix everything, he did it beautifully and perfectly. He rose before dawn each morning to leave for work and he came home after dark each evening. He had a work to do to provide for his family and he did it with his head held high and with full purpose of heart. He had faith that our family would be provided for if he worked hard and tirelessly and he gave all that he had. He worked hard because he loved his family so much.
There is a quote by President David O. Mckay that says, “‘The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” There is no greater love in Dad’s life than his beautiful wife. He loves Mom so completely, so purely, and so eternally. Their love transcends time and the trials that their mortal bodies will face in this lifetime. Dad longs to be by Mom’s side, even if it is a trip to the grocery store or a walk to the park. Dad will spend hours in a parked car in a parking lot just to go “shopping” with mom. His first thought is always of her happiness and he cherishes her as his bride and loving companion. They are never apart for very long and their love is such an example for each of us to strive for. Dad’s faith to love unconditionally has taught me so much about real and true love.
Dad has faith in and a testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I knew as a young girl that I could always go to my father and ask for guidance, comfort, and healing in a Priesthood blessing at any time. He lovingly and tenderly placed his hands on my head in giving me a father’s blessing and I know that there was power from on high in the words he spoke. He has always had a testimony of the gospel and lives his life in accordance with the teachings of Jesus Christ. Even when times were tough Dad had a testimony of paying his tithing and made it his first priority. His former Bishop, Ramon Beck, said that even when he didn’t see Mom and Dad in the pews on Sunday, he could expect a tithing check in the mail every month. Even now when Dad is so sick and in the hospital, he still wants me to pay his tithing because he knows of the blessings that come from it. He has a testimony of temple work and feels he has a work to do in serving in the temple and being together with his whole family in the house of the Lord. I truly believe that the day we're all together in the temple will be his greatest joy.
I am so grateful for the faith of my father. I know he loves his Savior, Jesus Christ and I am so grateful for all the lessons of faith that he has taught me. I am grateful for this opportunity to tell Dad how much I love him and how much his faith has meant to me in my life. I love you Dad!!
Friday, June 18, 2010
The Long Road to Recovery...
I'm not sure what made me think that because Dad's surgery was a great success, he'd be up and about and ready to go home in a couple of days. This week has been really tough!! Although Dad is recovering and doing well, it is such a long process. I don't know that I fully appreciated the emotional and physical toll this surgery would have on Dad and Mom as well. It seems like each step forward is accompanied with a few steps backwards.
Dad has been in the hospital now for exactly two weeks and although the IMC hospital is brand new and very fancy, it is still a hospital and it is sterile and cold and depressing and not someplace you want to stay for a while. While Dad has been recovering from his surgery, he has experienced some confusion and disorientation. The doctors have said that it is common and can be attributed to a number of factors. Dad seems to have ALL of the factors including age, multiple medications, recovery from major surgery, lengthy hospital stay, etc. etc. With everything that our family has been through in the last little while, I'm surprised we all haven't experienced some "confusion and disorientation". I think it's been difficult for Mom to watch Dad in this state of confusion. They've always been able to communicate and know what each other is thinking and feeling before any words are spoken and I'm sure that it is scary to watch the one you love suffer so much and not be able to mentally grasp what's happening. The doctors say that his clarity of mind will return and it has. He is a lot more conscious and aware than he has been in the past few days and we are so grateful that he is recovering. I keep thinking that if Dad could just go home he'd be able to recover and resume a normal life and begin to enjoy the summer and the beautiful weather we're having. It's naive of me to think, but I just want so badly for him to get well and go home.
There are a few hurdles Dad has to conquer before he can go home. He has to eat, have movement in his bowels, and he has to walk on his own. I will never again take for granted the simple things in life. When I visited Dad yesterday, he was so grateful to just have a sip of cold water. He held this glass of water in his shaky hands like it was more precious than gold and he cherished the ability to drink just a few sips. He was so gracious to the nurse for bringing it to him. It was so simple, but it was a really tender moment.
Each day Dad is getting stronger and able to meet more of the goals needed before he can go home. We are all hopeful that he'll be able to come home in just a few days. Mom scheduled a classroom at the hospital on Sunday for the family to celebrate Father's Day with Dad. She's planning on bringing Dad downstairs in a wheelchair so he can be with everyone. I'm pretty sure the classrooms weren't designed for a "Watkins Family Party", but it should be really fun and so great to be with Dad!
Dad has been in the hospital now for exactly two weeks and although the IMC hospital is brand new and very fancy, it is still a hospital and it is sterile and cold and depressing and not someplace you want to stay for a while. While Dad has been recovering from his surgery, he has experienced some confusion and disorientation. The doctors have said that it is common and can be attributed to a number of factors. Dad seems to have ALL of the factors including age, multiple medications, recovery from major surgery, lengthy hospital stay, etc. etc. With everything that our family has been through in the last little while, I'm surprised we all haven't experienced some "confusion and disorientation". I think it's been difficult for Mom to watch Dad in this state of confusion. They've always been able to communicate and know what each other is thinking and feeling before any words are spoken and I'm sure that it is scary to watch the one you love suffer so much and not be able to mentally grasp what's happening. The doctors say that his clarity of mind will return and it has. He is a lot more conscious and aware than he has been in the past few days and we are so grateful that he is recovering. I keep thinking that if Dad could just go home he'd be able to recover and resume a normal life and begin to enjoy the summer and the beautiful weather we're having. It's naive of me to think, but I just want so badly for him to get well and go home.
There are a few hurdles Dad has to conquer before he can go home. He has to eat, have movement in his bowels, and he has to walk on his own. I will never again take for granted the simple things in life. When I visited Dad yesterday, he was so grateful to just have a sip of cold water. He held this glass of water in his shaky hands like it was more precious than gold and he cherished the ability to drink just a few sips. He was so gracious to the nurse for bringing it to him. It was so simple, but it was a really tender moment.
Each day Dad is getting stronger and able to meet more of the goals needed before he can go home. We are all hopeful that he'll be able to come home in just a few days. Mom scheduled a classroom at the hospital on Sunday for the family to celebrate Father's Day with Dad. She's planning on bringing Dad downstairs in a wheelchair so he can be with everyone. I'm pretty sure the classrooms weren't designed for a "Watkins Family Party", but it should be really fun and so great to be with Dad!
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